Thursday, September 10, 2009

God's Mulligan

Here's an old golf joke. It's not a great joke, but it's pretty much the only golf joke I know.
One day, a priest and a nun went out for a round of golf. The priest deferred to the nun on the first hole, and she hit a nice drive down the middle of the fairway. The priest teed his ball up, took a whack, but hooked his ball off into the woods. Upset with his shot, the priest shouted "God-damn it! I missed!"
"Father!" cautioned the nun, "You should watch your language. The Lord will not like it." Chastised, the priest played out the first hole.
On the second hole the priest again hooked his tee shot out of bounds. "God-damn it! I missed," he yelled again.
"Father!" said the nun, a little more sternly, "Watch what you say! It is blasphemy!" Again they played out the hole.
Determined not to hook his drive into the woods, the priest carefully prepared to hit his third tee shot. He struck the ball well, and it started out down the fairway, but slowly, it started to slice, and as he watched in disbelief, it plopped into into the lake on the other side of the fairway. "God-damn it! I missed!" he screamed again, but before the nun could say a word, a bolt of lightning, came down and struck her, reducing her to a steaming pile of ash. The priest stared silently at the remains of the nun, completely stunned. Suddenly, out of the sky came a booming voice that thundered, "GOD-DAMN IT! I MISSED!"
Not a great joke, but it seems appropriate as a lead in to the story of devout Catholic Gunther Link (yes, link, like golf links, and, while not a priest, at least a devout Catholic). Link found himself trapped in an elevator some floors above the streets of Vienna, Austria. Scared about being stuck, the 45 year old Link prayed to be released from the elevator. He was, in fact, rescued soon thereafter, and the first thing he did was head straight to church to give thanks.

However, it seems God had other things in mind for Gunther Link. One might even think in some Twilight Zone sort of way, that Link was supposed to have met his doom on that elevator. When Link got to the Weinhaus Church, so thankful was he that he apparently embraced a monument in the church courtyard, but in doing so he pulled it from its pedestal. The 860 pound monument then fell on top of Link, crushing him to death.

I won't even venture a guess as to what Link did to deserve such heavenly wrath, but I can't help but think that after missing Link on the elevator, God just took a mulligan and made sure he didn't miss the second time.

Croatian Times

No comments:

Post a Comment