Monday, August 24, 2009

Excuse in a Box

You know the guy, the over-involved one who coaches baseball, volunteers to read to his kid's class twice a week, and decorates his cubicle with endearing photos and macaroni artwork. The one who always misses work to do something with his kid. The one you always have to cover for. The one who leaves you, the childless, responsible drone to do his job for him.
You are jealous of him. You hate him. You know you do.
If only YOU had a child, then it would all be different. If only YOU had a child then YOU could skip work and frolic with antelope or whatever it is you'd rather be doing. If only.
Well, now, you CAN be that guy.
Created by Melissa Maher, I give you: The Office Kid.
As real as Jan Brady's boyfriend, The Office Kid is what excuses are made of: photographs and family drawings, no real kid necessary. Who needs a sick kid? All you really need is a physician's note.
For guys, all you have to do is name the little twerp, come up with a little background story, and start skipping work. It's a little harder for gals (it always is, isn't it?), but the idea of an emergency adoption on your trip to Cancun (where you will have to return twice a year so he can visit his birth parents), or the death of a (preferably fictional) relative can serve as a satisfying explanation.
Like everything of quality, you can buy it, er, him on eBay.

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