Not What They Seem

Austrian Times
Police close down the Alesso family bakery in Turin, Italy.

Two bakers in Turin, Italy have been arrested for selling cocaine hidden inside loaves of bread. Michelangelo Alesso, 51 and Alessandro Mancino, 22, have been arrested and their family bakery shut down. Alesso blamed the economy for their desperate measure: "I had no choice. No-one was buying special bread or cakes any more so we had to find something they would buy or we would be out of business."

Police became suspicious when the bakery line began to reach around the corner.

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Austrian Times

Confiscated cigarettes with (bonus!) rabbit droppings in the Canary Islands.

Also, counterfeit cigarettes confiscated in the Canary Islands have been found to contain not only tobacco, but also rabbit feces.

Police and customs officials have arrested at least 12 people on Tenerife, the largest of the Canary islands with a population roughly the size of Oahu, Hawaii.  The rabbit feces were used to save on tobacco content. The police seized 1.5 million packs of cigarettes and over a million Euros in cash.

According to one customs official, "They stunk. They smell just as you'd imagine burning shit to smell."

Sources:
Austrian Times (and again)
Memo
Daily Express
Tenerife Forum
Island Connections
Wikipedia

The Most Unproductive Day of the Year

The Daily Telegraph reports that today will be the most unproductive day of the year. Citing the British daylight savings change and the general dreariness of this time of year, an obviously scientific and statistically significant survey (where is the sarcasm tag when you need it?) of 2,000 workers taken by the Canary Islands tourism board said that 52% of those surveyed will struggle with their workload today, and 8% will call in sick to avoid the issue. Taken together these effects will result in a mind-numbing 50% drop in productivity this week.

In other news there are unsubstantiated and highly questionable rumors coming out of the southern hemisphere where the opposite effect is occurring, but with the same dire consequences. Reports out of Rio de Jeneiro indicate that people have suddenly increased their productivity. This has brought partying to a complete standstill, threatening to destroy the local economy. Said one club owner, "Everyone is working. No one is drinking. I will be ruined," adding, "The girl from Ipanema walked by but no one even noticed."

Sources:
Telegraph (via Ananova)
Islas Canarias